you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
did i just pee glitter
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
