And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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