this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
