The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
