Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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