I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
