The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
