actually, I'm a sock model
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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