I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
