dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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