I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
