I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
