i barfeds in our rink
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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