It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
ok first of all what the fuck
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
