Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
there's paper in my vomit.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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