and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
