I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
