Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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