I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just threw up on my dentist
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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