Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
