OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
