So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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