If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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