Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just found puke in my bra..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
