I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize