He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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