'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
