I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
