I just threw up on my dentist
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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