remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
