This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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