We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
