I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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