someone threw a dead crab at me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
