How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
