I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
