U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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