either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
