i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
