Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your cock deserves a montage
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
