I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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