I need help removing her.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
