He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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