10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
