ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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