She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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