so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
