And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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