Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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