They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
