she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
