Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
