i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
