also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
