I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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