I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
