What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
