i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
