You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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