kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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