i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
