I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish you could order shots online.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
