No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
