can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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