We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
